Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
