I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
