Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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