i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
