official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
