It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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