Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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