whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
