fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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