ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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