38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
