I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
