I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
