"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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