It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
