Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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