is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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