A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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