The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
