I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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