he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
