# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
