Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
