It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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