I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
