You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
