He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
