haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
