Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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