I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
