bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
