Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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