ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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