You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
