there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
