you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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