Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
