he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
