Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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