Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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