i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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