She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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