I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We're too hungover to prance.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
