It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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