I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
