just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
