Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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