His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I need a burrito and a hug.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
