She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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