Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she looked like the before picture.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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