I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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