those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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