I've blown a few things in my day
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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